dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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