none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
