I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize