It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
