You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
