Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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