Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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