Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
