i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
