Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
