girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
