Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(518): View more from New York

Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.

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(207): View more from Maine

I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.

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(419): View more from Ohio

The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.

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(831): View more from California

My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover

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(704): View more from North Carolina

So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???

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