drinking out of a sandbucket again
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
