where does the pee come out of this thing
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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