You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
