I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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