i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
