is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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