Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
