I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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