i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
