I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize