Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize