New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
