we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
