you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
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