i need an iv and a liver transplant
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
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