If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
