Plan B is the new Plan A
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
