i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
