I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
