I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
