ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize