he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize