Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
