ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize