omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
