Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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