You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Randomize
