how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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