Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
