No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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