My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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