I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
farters have to be the big spoon...
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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