i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
