So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
