Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
