VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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