I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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