a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
