You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize