she woke up with a sticky ear
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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