I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
