Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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