Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
