Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
