ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
