Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just want to make out with him forever
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
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