I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
