The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
