I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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