You're completely useless in the revolution.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
