That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
All the doctor said was why
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
