we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
